So you came here to find out a little something about MOI. What to say, what to say?
I grew up an Army brat and moved around more than your average gal. This is probably what made me the socially awkward yet extraordinarily opinionated person that I have become. I am also a dork/geek/nerd or whatever you want to label it. I will wear that label proudly. Give me some gadgets, some bleeding edge software, puzzles, coloring books, and a plethora of audiobooks and you can call me content.
I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse of 24 years. Realizing you’ve been discarded as effortlessly as trash because your partner was cheating on you for some time and he has absolutely no feelings about it is a hard reality. We rarely ever argued, or communicated about anything emotional. In fact, if I did try to discuss my emotions, I was usually shut down quickly or made to feel more crazy than I was already feeling. But on my oldest daughter’s 5th birthday is when he decided to tell me I had to get out of my own house. For a couple years, I thought I was going insane. I went into a recovery center in Kentucky and learned heaps. Turns out, the covert narcissist was gaslighting the hell out of me and I was fading into the wallpaper more and more. I had no idea who I was or what had happened to me. He took great advantage of that.
But I’m awake and healing now. I’m taking my space and using my words. Oh, I’m using my words. There will be no more of me being about as noticeable as the furniture in the room.
I have always held space well for other’s experiences, and now I’m figuring out how to do that for myself. It may be the most important thing I’ve learned on my recent journey into self care and healing from my trauma. Learning what I have thus far, and being the giver that I am, I want to combine the two and find a way to start helping others in the mental health space, especially other survivors of narcissistic and verbal abuse.