There are only two new shows from the CW that I'm watching. Sarah Michelle Gellar's return to television in Ringer is odd. I want to love it. I do. See, SMG is playing twins. One is a ex-addict, ne'er-do-well, that is on the run from some bad guys who she doesn't want to testify against. The other is all fancy and girly and has everything a girl could want. Except maybe not! She "kills" herself, the other SMG slides into her fancy life and tries to live the great life. Gets a little complicated, natch. The first episode had me quite a bit turned off in the first 15 minutes. The twin thing was not the best filmed trick I've ever seen. Also, they used a lot of fake backgrounds and that wasn't done very well either. Then... in walks Ioan Gruffud (pronounced "Yo-wahn Griffith"). Oh, he's a beauty. Funny thing is, I didn't even realize that he was in the show. Bonus! Anyhoo... the episode did get better overall. Enough to have me tuning in the 2nd week, and the 3rd. However, it is kinda losing my interest. SMG is always in some super-panicy mode, and it just gets a little exhausting. At this point, I will do Ioan a favor and keep tuning in. *eyebrows wigglin'*

The other show on the CW that I'm watching, and really by accident, is The Secret Circle. I didn't do a lot of research on what all was new this year, so I didn't even know this was on. This show is on cuz The Vampire Diaries has been so successful. So, I'm guessing the CW thought, hey, let's take another book series from LJ Smith and make a show out of it. Total side note: LJ Smith is a crap writer. After watching The Vampire Diaries, I went and made the mistake of reading the first two books in that series. It was painful to read. I liked NONE of the characters. It truly amazes me that they made the show from this. I like the show, I hate the books. So, no way in hell will I try to read the The Secret Circle books. Yech. Anyway... short summary... bunch of teenagers are witches in a town that pretty much frowns on that sort of thing. It's your basic teenage-soapy mess with some SFX thrown in. Your average person will not like this, however, if you're like me and read Young Adult books like this anyway... you'll dig it. Not as rockin' as The Vampire Diaries, but it'll do.

Let's move over to Fox, and I'll try to be quicker about these. What can I say, I'm verbose :P

We got New Girl with Zooey Deschanel. It's not an awesome show, but I like it. Zooey D is just impossible to not like. She's quirky, she's goofy, and she sings her own theme song. So, our New Girl here has just been recently cheated on, and needs a place to live. She finds these 3 guys looking for a roomie on Craigslist *shudder*, and hijinks ensue. They replaced Damon Wayans, Jr. after the first episode. I guess that's cuz his other show got picked up. I liked him better than his replacement. But I'll deal.

Let's face it. I love me some sci-fi television. Which is kinda strange that I don't read much sci-fi. When I first saw the previews for Terra Nova months ago, I literally laughed. A show with dinosaurs? Puh-lease. But, of course, I had to at least try it, no? Well, I was hooked pretty quickly. The show starts in 2149 and the planet is completely wrecked. The atmosphere has gotten so bad that everyone has to wear re-breathers when not indoors. There is a bit of hope. Scientists have discovered a rip in time or something to 85 Million BC. They have been sending groups of people back in time to establish a colony. It's supposedly in a different time stream than current time, but I'm betting that's not the case. It's also a one-way trip. It has a bit of a Lost feel to it. There is a whole group of "others" called Sixers that are like rebels.

I also watched the first two episodes of The X Factor. I think I just might be done with all reality shows ('cept Surivor), cuz I can't really get into this to watch it again. I thought I would like it cuz Simon is back being Simon. Except he doesn't seem as harsh. Then again, The X Factor is much more of a building of a talent. So, maybe there is just no need to be super rude at this point. Maybe that will come :D Also, I lurv the hootchified music that Nicole Sherzinger puts out and she has some great ta-tas, but damn, she's a horrible judge. The original british chic was better. Also, the host? Yah, I've already forgot him.

First up is the oh-so-laughable The Playboy Club. This was the first show I broke my rule on, and just immediately stopped watching. OMG. This was just painful. My mom actually seemed to like it. Of the people I talked to about the new shows, she was the only one that seemed to show interest in this show. Probably why it was cancelled after only 2 episodes. Woohoo!

Next up are two 30-minute shows I actually talked myself into attempting. We have Up All Night with Will Arnett and Christina Applegate. They are basically some hipster folks who have recently had a baby that had not planned on. Maya Rudolph plays an Oprah-esque talk show host that is Christina Applegate's boss and best friend. She is so clueless to the real world that this is where most of the comedy comes from. I'm on the fence on this one. I am still watching it. But what investment is it really for me to watch a 30-minute comedy out of the corner of my eye on Hulu? None. I'm very indifferent about this one. I will probably continue to watch it out of the corner of my eye while I'm working or something. And I wouldn't be heartbroken if it were canned.

Free Agents... just found out it was cancelled. I thought it was OK. Hank Azaria and Kathryn Hahn were actually quite good together. And I really loved Hank Azaria's secretary. Her mad-awesome indifference and honesty was hella awesome for some laughs. But, whatever. It's gone.

Maria Bello's butch-ass cop character in Prime Suspect is just typical cop fare to me. This is based on a British show that starred Helen Mirren. I'm betting this is no where close to the original. Well, that's just been the case in most UK to US converted shows. It's not awful. I like Maria Bello, but sometimes I think she is pushing the butch-cop thing a bit much. The hat? Hmmm. The gum? Annoying. And what's up with her orange-glow? She's a cop in NYC. I'm betting those don't typically get a lot of sun action. But if you were to take it from this gal, they spend all day in the damn open air. Maria sweetie, it makes you look older. Doing you no favors.

Very interested in the upcoming Grimm show. Has a very interesting cast, and a very different type of storyline. I need something original, people. Let's do better.

First up... Unforgettable, is well, kinda forgettable. It does star cutie-patootie Poppy Montgomery from Without a Trace. She still has an awful American accent. Why won't anyone just let her be her Australian-self? I like the red hair on her though. It also has Nip/Tuck alum Dylan Walsh. This is about a lady that can't forget anything. However, she is plagued by one thing she cannot remember... who killer her sister? Bah. How played out does this sound? I know I watch a lot of television, so I'm gonna be a bit jaded when it comes to this stuff, but I just feel like.. whatever. Besides the memory shtuff, it's a pretty straightforward cop show. The really irritating part of the show is how they show her remembering something that she saw earlier in the show that now solves the case. Think House's stunned looks right before he diagnoses a patient, but far more irritating and in slow-mo, and just not done well. I watched 2 episodes I think. Maybe I'll watch 1 more. I'd really like to give shows 3 episodes before I completely axe 'em. But 3 has seemed hard this season. Is 2 enough? I mean, it is an arbitrary rule I have imposed upon myself. Surely I can change it, no? Yah, I'm sure the OCD will not let me.

Something I could not give 3 episodes to was Person of Interest. I did watch 2. Well, I checked out really early on the 2nd episode. The 1st episode was a bit chaotic and gave me no incentive to care about any of the characters. You learn that Jim Caviezel's character is this awful looking homeless dude, and 2 minutes later he's all cleaned up and working for Michael Emerson's (of Lost fame) character. What is he doing? Ummm... I think they have some surveillance system that can anticipate all kinds of crime. The US government takes care of the big terrorist type things and now these two take care of the mundane.. like potential murders. I usually adore Michael Emerson's weirdness, and thought this could carry my interest. But Caviezel is so boring and void of any character, even with his supposed emotional back story, that it hurts to watch this show. Done. No more.

Poor CBS. Batting 0 here. However, CSI has a new character in house. Ted Danson has joined the cast after Laurence Fishburne departure. I actually kinda dig him. I never would have even wanted to watch something with Ted Danson in it, but Damages and Bored to Death have completely changed my attitude towards me some Danson.

ABC

Let us start with one of the worst shows I have seen in a really long time—Charles's Angels. I cannot even believe this crap is still on. I think one of my friends said it best. The only reason that this is still on the air is cuz Drew Barrymore is an executive producer on the show.

I actually managed to watch the entire first episode. And if you've seen it, you'll understand what a feat that was. Three very vapid, but beautiful, women. That part is a given. Then there is Bosley. He's supposed to be some young, hunky, cybergeek. Whatevs. I've already wasted too many words on this mess.

Next up is ABC's attempt to get on the Mad Men band wagon—Pan Am. This show confuses me. I have now watched 3 episodes of this show, and I'm still truly baffled. Is this show supposed to be about Pan Am stewardesses or CIA show? So, basically, the airplanes and ladies are just a vehicle to have a show about covert operations for the CIA. Bah. Lame. But I think I might still watch it, if I have spare time. It'll be one of those shows I leave unwatched until I am so bored and have nothing else to watch.

I saved the best of ABC's new stuff for last. Revenge is uhhhh-mazing. I've seen 3 episodes so far, and each one has not disappointed. It's the story of a girl come back to where she grew up as a child, and where her father was betrayed by all those around him. I'm super curious as to how this is going to last for more than a season. It seems like it might have been better as one of those one-shot summer shows or something. However, if they figure out how to make this show last more than a season, more power to them. Just don't make it suck. If you only pick up a limited number of shows this season... this needs to be one. Good stuff.

Last of ABC's shows that I watched was a complete and utter mistake. I accidentally set Suburgatory to record, and since I had time for it, I figured I would give it a try. SO glad I did. Really funny stuff. I normally hate 30-minute shows. Mainly cuz the majority of 30-minute stuff is sitcoms. And I do not under any circumstances watch sitcoms. I cannot stand the canned laughter or "filmed in front of a live studio audience" BS. I do not need to know when to laugh. I think I'm intelligent enough to know when I find something funny. I've digressed... back to Suburgatory. It's not filmed in front of a live studio audience. Booyah.

It's the story of a girl who has been ripped out of her known world of Manhattan and been placed into the gawdforsaken world of the suburbs. I like this girl. I like her a lot. She's witty, she's rebellious, she's insecure but strong. The relationship she has with her single-father is very nice to see. Their relationship reminds me a bit of Castle and his daughter, but with even more intentional hilarity. Definitely one of my fave new shows.

I did not mean for this to be this long. And I've only covered one network. Well, let's make this a series about series. Tomorrow's entry will be all about CBS' lineup.

"Food is evil. Food makes me heavy, therefore I should avoid it at all costs" -- This is what goes through my head, subconsciously really, about food whenever it's time to eat. So, I'm constantly having to fight this subconscious attitude. While I was pregnant, I didn't have to fight this. I have issues with taking care of myself apparently, but being responsible for another being made this completely disappear. I ate every 2-3 hours, small meals, and I avoided everything I should... No artificial sweeteners, no caffeine, no high fructose corn syrup (my own personal avoidance), no deli meat, no high mercury fish. I was absolutely perfect when it came to eating. I still ate out quite a bit, but at least I ate.

So, in a quick knee-jerk reaction. I decided to have food be less of an issue in the aftermath of losing Jeremy. I knew that I would revert to not eating, which would make food a stresser again. This is not a time when I needed more stress. So, I opted to try Snap Kitchen and to try Gluten-Free. They made healthy food and you can pick it up every 3 days and you don't have to supplement it at all. I wouldn't have to go to the grocery store or anything.

At Snap, you get 1 free half-day every week. So, I can go out to eat or eat a home-cooked meal or whatever. On my first free day, Mike and I ate at Hyde Park Bar & Grill, where I proceeded to get my favorite fried egg sandwich. It was delicious. Until later that evening when I had horrible stomach issues. It was Mike that realized this could be a gluten sensitivity thing. He was right. Now that I'm all clear of gluten in my system, I have quite the reaction to it when I eat it. After many years of many doctors giving me drugs or vitamins or whatever for my stomach -- I'd even been to the ER a couple times because of my stomach -- I now had the answer. I used to only have a BM about twice a week. That was if I was doing well. Now I go EVERYDAY. Sometimes TWICE a day!!! I can't believe no one ever mentioned this to me. I cannot even describe to you how much better I feel overall eating gluten-free. Un-flippin'-believable! Anyway... so...

Just go to Snap, get my 3 days worth of food and be done. It was amazing. Really great food, really great staff, and it was brainless. I simply ate the next thing on the list when it was time.

I did that for 6 weeks. Then my husband started to get whiny about the money. I proved that it only cost us $100 more a month on Snap than when we ate out and all that, but I guess I let it get to me. So, I stopped. This was a bad time. This started me on a downward spiral with food and mood. If I ever doubt the effect food can have on my mood, I need only think back on August 2011. Mike did the best he could, he would make me chicken breasts so I'd have them to eat. But, really, that was all I would eat. I'd only eat when he yelled at me about food, and I hated him for it. Hated myself for it too. So, after about 2 weeks of this nonsense, I realized I had to do something.

I thought I would try some of the other Snap-like places around town. I went and got a few things at My Fit Foods, and while edible, it wasn't awesome. Not something I could eat 5 times a day. Then I went and committed to Mel's Meals, mostly on the recommendation of my nutritionist. Yah, well, I made it 9 days into a 21-day commitment cuz that food was just nasty. You'd go from super bland to over seasoned. I'd really go out of my way to figure out how NOT to eat their foods. So, they gave me my remaining money back and were super great about that. Great staff! Not-so-great food.

So, after that I went running back to Snap Kitchen with big hugs & kisses. If I thought I loved their food before, I certainly was IN LOVE with it after experiencing the alternatives.

I'm going to keep doing Snap as long as I can stand it. It means I eat 1400-1600 calories everyday consistently, it's easy gluten-free stuff. So I don't have to stress about GF on top of just my usual eating woes. It's helping me get through this difficult point in my life.

Oh, and I'm actually quite impressed with myself about something else. I have been going through all this stuff still not on any anti-depressant. I think it might be official. I think I have acquired the right tools via individual and group therapies that have allowed me to deal with things that I otherwise would not have been able to handle drug-free once upon a time. I kinda love that.

"Things could definitely be worse..."

Well, that was an understatement. Things got a lot worse. This is what we posted on FB -

Our son, Jeremy Blue Olivier was born on Friday, June 17, 2011 3:53pm. He passed away shortly after his birth. There were complications with the pregnancy. We had him for such a short time, but he has forever changed our lives.

I'm not going to get into the details or anything, but I feel like I need to post something about him and what we went through. I guess I feel like I couldn't post anything else on my blog until I did this post. But, what do you say? I'm heartbroken beyond words... that's kind of a given.

Everyone was so great to us. A lot of compassion out there, even from places I least expected.

I also found that some people just didn't even get it. I did not miscarry. Not to say that miscarriages are something that are easier, but in a way they can be. I was 21-weeks pregnant. I gave birth. I had an epidural and went through the whole shebang. He was 7 inches, 9.5 ounces. I held my dead baby boy... kissed his cold head... touched his little sharp finger nails. He had my nose! And he had Mike's long fingers, and his chin, too!

And yet, I still got comments like.. "Well, if it was meant to be..."

Yah... I'm not friends with the people that said shit like that to me anymore.

So, this is probably not as monumental as maybe it should be. But I felt like I had to write something. Acknowledge our little boy Jeremy Blue, my Mister Blue... before I can get to a healthier place in life, or on this blog. It could not go unsaid.

I will miss my first born boy forevermore.

The first, and really not that big of a deal, is my no-cry mechanism. What does this mean, you may wonder? Well, for whatever reason, I really do not like to cry in front of my husband. Anyone else, whatever. But, my husband should not see this. Not that I haven't cried in front of him. Oh contraire, it has happened plenty. But I try to really avoid it. Especially if I'm watching movies or TV. That's like weenie crying, and I try to avoid that. I have a great ability to stop it, usually. I drink some water, I push my tongue to the top of my mouth, I bite the inside of my cheek. Whatever it takes.

I have lost this ability since being pregnant.

I try to stop it, and it won't stop. But it could be worse. Like...

The other thing that has developed is my filter (for talking) is gone. I've slowly developed a bit of this filter through years of individual and group therapy. It's a very thin slight membrane of a filter, but I think the hormones ate it. I'm not really minding it being gone. It's not effecting my attitude towards most people. However, the people I find annoying or just generally do not like even when not pregnant, are now getting the brunt of my honesty at it's full force. I have no tolerance for negativity or hateful rhetoric, and I'm just not keeping it in when encountering it lately.

Things could definitely be worse, in my opinion.

I'm finding that people that I thought knew me, and should know me, do not know me at all. So, I am putting it out there on the record for my peeps to see. I will put it simply. I do not believe in a God of any sort. I do not believe in any sort of higher power. I was raised in a Christian household, but from a very early age I couldn't help thinking that everyone at church was just weird.

What I do believe in, and very strongly, is a sense of karma. I live my life in such a way as what I put out in the world will come back to me. I try to be as honest as I can be, and as accepting as I can be. I'm not saying I accomplish this all the time, cuz I don't. I'm not perfect. But I believe a good attitude, being honest, and being good to people will boomerang back to me.

I bring this up because I feel like since I've announced that I'm pregnant to people that I'm bombarded with religious stuff. Talking to a friend about this recently, even had a stranger butting into the conversation to tell me "you will believe in God now that you're pregnant. There's no way not to when you have a child." Usually, this stuff doesn't bother me. Mainly because it's really never been an issue. But I honestly feel like the emails & whatnot I've gotten that talk about prayers and other religious things pertaining to me and my baby, have gone a bit too far. I'm seriously getting offended. What if someone that was Jewish or Muslim sent a Christian something that was jewish or islamic? That Christian would probably be offended. It's pretty much the same thing.

So, I try to respect you and your religion. All I ask is that you please try to respect me and my lack of one.

Continued in "The Art & Science of Making Our Critter, Part II"

...Continued from "The Art & Science of Making Our Critter, Part III"

We'll rewind just a tad here. On Monday, February 7, 2011, Miguel got horrible news. He was told that a close friend of his committed suicide. They had known each other for so long -- Probably 20 years. To say this was a surprise was an understatement.

So, when we get our awesome 3-day fertilization report on February 8, 2011, he was beyond relieved or happy or whatever. You combine the death of his friend with what happened on our previous 3-day fertilization report, and this boy just wanted to hear something good. So, when I say I can't describe the look on his face, I mean it. There was so much emotion tied into that one look, that it is just impossible to put into words.

Miguel left for Dallas for the memorial for his friend on Thursday, February 17, 2011. He would be there until Sunday. However, the extra bummer to this is my blood test to see if I was pregnant was scheduled for Saturday, February 19. He would not be there with me when I found out. In the scheme of things, this is probably not that important.

But when you consider the HOT MESS that I became between Thursday and Saturday, you might think differently. I was pretty OK until after he left. Then the worry set in. By Friday, I was just trying to sleep whenever I could so I would avoid the worrying and how awful it was making me feel. As an added bonus to all this, I was experiencing extreme constipation because of all the hormones I had been on, and was still having to take. I could take nothing for it, so physically and emotionally I was just a mess. I woke up from one of my naps around Friday/Saturday at midnight. This is when my wheels started churning. How early was too early to get my blood drawn? The place I had to go was a 24-hour lab. So, I watched stuff on Netflix for as long as I could manage, but then finally caved.

I ended up heading to the hospital lab at 4am. Due to some seriously stupid people, I almost got checked into the ER when I was just asking for directions to the lab. All that mess took me an hour! So, when I finally found the lab at 5am, I was just confused and frazzled. The lady there was really helpful, and made sure I wasn't going to have to pay for an ER visit, and yelled at some people on the phone for putting me through all that. Then she took my blood. Best blood draw ever. So smooth. And with IVF, you become a bit of a critic of all the phlebotomists. You have to get blood taken almost as often as they stick stuff up your lady junk. So, yes, best blood draw ever.

So, I head home, eat some breakfast and then proceed to crash from about 6:30am until 11am-ish. I am supposed to receive a call by no later than 1:30pm. The sheet I have specifically states that if I have not heard by that time, to page out the nurse. Well, 1:30pm comes and goes, and by 1:32pm I'm paging out. I get a call back around 2pm, and I apologize for being a dork for paging out, but she says I did the right thing. I could hear her shuffling papers around, and I was starting to get nervous and she says something like "OH! Good news!" and I think she said something else, but I could seriously have passed out by this point. I regain my composure while she tells me what my next orders are and all that. I have to get my blood drawn again on Monday.. keep taking my progesterone... yadda yadda yadda. Holy shit. I'm pregnant!?

TO BE CONTINUED in "...And Even More WAITING!"

That's lame.

I used to write about some pretty cool shit. Or if it wasn't about cool shit, well, I'm just witty and entertaining enough to make it cool. Or so I tell myself.

So, this is a simple post to tell you I want to rectify that. And if it takes a stupid little post about fixing it to spark the change.

So be it.

So, I got a major hair cut. I literally decided to do it on my way to my stylist. I thought I would have to scream & cry the next day, but oh-no! I adore it! I even have to "style" it, and I still love it. WHAT?!?! I know, it's so crazy.

I'm not sure you can tell from my post so far, but I'm still in a pretty good headspace since the last time I mentioned being, yanno, happy and shit. Still am ... LOOK! Goofy grin. But a grin.

Going camping/cabin'ing this weekend with my bud Sarah and her fam, and Mike of course. Hopefully I will remember to actually take pictures. I doubt it. But I do have my iPhone now.

Oh yah.. I have my iPhone now. So, I promise you won't hear me bitching about not having one. Heh.

Got a Kindle 2 for my bday. I honestly think we're in love. Well... I love it. I call it "Hamlet" and my iPhone is "zazzle". Just go with it, I do.

So, here's another hair pic, cuz I know you were just DYING for another. TADA. This one is from when my stylist did it. See, cuz she knows how to do such things. I am not quite as fortunate, YET.

Hmmm... I feel like I need to write more. Mainly cuz the design aesthetic of my post will be all screwy unless I put enough text to go around this last image. Is this enough yet? Nope.

Dangit.

OH! How could I forget the eventful weekend I just had?!?!?! So, last Thursday afternoon I started to get a headache. It wasn't too big a deal, but it just had this feeling. I knew it was gonna turn into a migraine, but boy I had no clue really. So, later Thursday night it turns into a migraine. Shocking, I know. I kinda get rid of it. Well... tamed enough to work the 2nd half of Friday. But then by the time work was done. Yeow. Back to migraine. Then on Saturday, I pretty much couldn't get rid of it. I had an ice pack on the back of my head pretty much the entire day/night of Saturday. It was the ONLY thing that would do anything for me. I really hate taking my migraine med - Imitrex - cuz it tends to make me feel twice as bad before it makes me feel better. But I did end up taking it Thursday night and then Saturday at some point. GAW. I hate that stuff. By Sunday early evening, I was actually starting to feel quite a bit better. I chilled out and took a bath, read a little. That might have been a mistake. You know.. the whole using of the eyes thing. I dunno... but whatever it was... SLAM! Migraine came at me faster than a speeding jackhammer and I was in tears. I go back to my trusty ice packs, but even then, I can barely breathe the pain is so bad. At about 10:30pm, I finally ask Mike to take me to the ER.

We get to the ER, and they see me pretty quick. I fill out my paper, sign it, as Mike is coming in from parking the car, they have me back there starting with stats and whatnot. From there they put me in my little curtained area. AND the nurse was so incredibly thoughtful because she left the lights off in my area. Another nurse was telling Mike to turn on the lights, and she corrected him real quick. I strip the upper body, but on my nice hospital nightie and a few minutes later the doctor comes in. Young-ish guy that had a bit of a military-ness to him. But I'm simply speculating. And I was half nuts by this point. So, it could have been a female for all I know. He tells me what he's going to do. He's gonna give me 3 meds and some fluids. YahYahYah... just STICK ME already. First comes the fluids... ooh nice and cool, I likey. Then comes the Benadryl (in case I'm allergic to anything they give me)... oooh, trippy. Then they piggybacked that with Toradol and Compazine. After about 15 or so minutes, I go from my nice trippy la-la state to OMGOMGOMG I must move, I can't sit still. But since I'm hooked up to an IV, my only option is to rock back and forth. I kid you not. I finally let Mike go find someone cuz it's getting bad. I start pulling on my toes while I'm rocking back and forth. It's just nuts. The nurse comes, he calls the doc, the docs says he'll come back soon. Like what seemed like forever to me, 30-45 minutes, the doctor finally comes back and says "So, how's the headache?" (headache? douchebag, it's a migraine, it's so very different). I tell him, what headache? No ache in the head at all. Now, what about this weird antsy anxiety thing I got going on. Him - "Yah, looks like we traded one problem for another. But at least the pain is gone." ha ha NO. He tells me they will give me some Ativan and it might help, but I should just keep taking Benadryl every 6 hours, cuz it's all basically an allergic reaction to Compazine. And off ya go... BuhBye.

I think the Ativan helped, cuz I don't really remember the drive home, and the next thing I do remember is waking up like EONS later it seemed. All in all, we were at the ER for 2-2.5 hours. I was pretty impressed by that. I come from an Army brat background and if you aren't in an ER for at least 8 hours, you just had a lengthy doctor's appointment.

So, next day I take my Benadryl every six hours (I added some Valium in there too, same crap as Ativan), and slept all damn day. If I didn't sleep I would have gone nuts with the constant need to be moving. By Tuesday evening, I was finally feeling this || short of normal. For me, anyway.

Wow, look at that. I didn't have trouble filling up that space after all. Toodles. It's late now. I have a really early laser hair removal appointment (the whole shabang baby! :D) in the morning and then off to the campin'.

I hope everyone has a great, fun, safe, Independence Day weekend!

Over the past year or so, I've been slowly sinking back into my depression. It finally clicked that maybe my regular doctor isn't the best person to be figuring out my brain chemical issues.  So, I went to a psychiatrist, and she has me on a new medication. I've been on it for about 6 weeks now, and I feel AMAZING! I haven't felt this good in probably 13 years. I feel like ME. Anyway... this is just leading up to show a  pic of me. I don't like pics of me in general, so this is monumental folks. This was me yesterday. I just really liked how happy I looked and wanted to share.

Enjoy!

and SMILE :D

Auto Tuning from Casey Donahue on Vimeo.

Vimeo HQ - 4:12pm

Blake needs to talk to Jack about the homepage... or at least he tries to.

Later, Mike and I headed down to Paramount to catch I Love You, Man. I went to my badge line which was INSANE and Mike went into his little film pass line. I got us seats, Mike was able to get in, and voila. The entire main cast were there and it was very cool to see them. Excuse the blurry picture, but we were quite far up the balcony.

The movie was hilarious. Paul Rudd was excellent. Understated, which made the hilarity that much more yanno, hilarious. The Q&A afterwards was a bit of a bummer, because Janet Pierson obviously didn't think about what kinds of questions she would ask her first Q&A at her first screening of the first year as her being the director for the SXSW Film. If that were me, I think I would have practiced about 100 questions to ask. Just to have them in the pocket and ready to go. Instead of fumbling around, hemming & hawing. Bah. Makes me miss Matt Dentler, that's for sure.

We stayed at Paramount and watched ExTerminators, with Heather Graham, Jennifer Coolidge, and Amber Heard. It was filmed in Austin, so that was excellent of course. It was about a group of ladies in an anger management group that decide to take matters into their own hands when it comes to the men in their lives. Very good stuff. Heather Graham was very good and I'm not usually that impressed with her. Mike also said she has "awesome boobs". Yes, yes she does.

This does not look anything like me, as some people like to do for their avatars. Well, I mean, I do have red hair and I'm short, and I am probably that pale, and I do sometimes wear pig tails, but I'm not that skinny or you know... a vampire. Also, I would never ever wear a skirt like that.  This is more like wishful thinking. What would I like to look like if I could. Yup, this would probably be it.

So, thanks to the wonderful world of avatars, I can look like that online, while playing dorked out games that I love.

The pic on the left is my gamertag picture or whatever that is called. How I took that picture with my avatar's eyes closed I will never know. But it's cool, so I kept it. I know, you're jealous. It's okay, many people are.

Latelly I've been playing all the Lego games. Lego Indiana Jones, Lego Star Wars, and I've recently just started Lego Batman. I also have the new Prince of Persia that I need to start too. But I've been in the puzzle-y mood so Lego it has been.  I also think that I may be moving my time from xbox to knitting. I'm like that ya see. I do things in phases, in an all or nothing way. I do one thing and I do it a lot and I mean A LOT. Then I burn out or just get over it and move on to the next thing. I feel like I'm in a transition stage at the moment between xbox and knitting.

We will have to see what wins out.

On a completely different note, we went camping this weekend with some friends. We went out to some land with a primitive cabin near Mason, TX. We were there from Saturday afternoon to Monday morning. Saturday night was just killer awesome. Our friends had their 3 kids, and brother there. We played Catchphrase while the grownups got silly drunk and we had a friggin' blast. I had so much fun, that I ended up getting up in the middle of the night to go pee and added a bit of hurling to the list. I think it was more from the sweet wine I brought and not drinking enough water. Cuz I wasn't THAT drunk. The next night was much more somber, cuz all the kids except the youngest left. It was no less fun, but it was definitely a different fun.

We also ate at this one cafe there called Willow Creek Cafe. I think we ended up eating there three times. It was lishous! They had meringue pies with the highest meringue I've ever seen on a pie. I think Mike has pictures on his website, so I'll try to grab one or something.

Ok, just a quick random update. Felt like I needed to write something. So there :P

1. I have very little sympathy for humans, but can cry over road kill. Animals are at our mercy people.

2. I have written 4 paragraphs of a vampire-type book I want to write. But that was over a year ago. I feel like me and creativity no longer know each other.

3. I eat meat, but I CANNOT deal with raw meat. It's gross. The vegetarian husband cooks all my meat for me :D

4. My house burning down was one of the best things to happen to me. Except I lost all of my yearbooks.

5. I still feel like I'm a kid. I seriously don't want to grow up. (Mom, I'll never dress like an adult. It's just not in me.)

6. I have a screw in my left fifth metatarsal. I broke said bone while walking on a flat surface, wearing flat (but 2 inch soles) shoes. According to my husband, I went to the "Aggie School of Walking". I will never hear the end of this. Also, if I sit cross-legged with my left foot on the floor, I can feel the head of the screw.

7. I cannot seem to grasp the importance of taking care of myself. The basics are painful to me. Eating, sleeping, drinking water, facial regimens, makeup... These things take way more work than they should. My husband has to constantly remind me to eat.

8. I desperately want a female BFF. Someone I can call and just chitchat with if I wanted to. Or even better... show up at her house and just hang. What a friggin' concept.

9. Not only do I absolutely adore Justin Timberlake, but I have a really unexplainable love of all things catchy and poppy.

10. I really love listening to Rap/Hip-Hop at insanely high volumes.

11. I know a lot of ladies think they are gross, but I only use OB tampons.

12. I wouldn't be brokenhearted if I never have a kid. I'm just too spoiled and selfish.

13. I cannot be the person who breaks a spine on a book. I read a book just opened enough to see the words.

14. I will never not dye my hair anything but red. It's an obsession... or a mistake by nature. I should have just been born that way.

15. I'm seriously contemplating getting gastric bypass/lap-band.

16. I have a word doc for every television show I've ever watched. I keep track of what episodes I have & have not seen. Don't judge.

17. I scan in every single receipt that my husband and I get. Granted, it does help with taxes, but still. It's kinda weird, I know.

18. I've been rejected by SXSW twice for the same short film that I wrote/produced/edited, but I'm still giddy that I even have something to submit to a film festival. Hollah!

19. I feel like I talk too much, and am far too open with what I talk about, so that makes people not like me. (Perhaps reason for lack of #8). You'd think this would shut me up, but I think it just proves that nothing can shut me up.

20. I feel like I'm maybe two bad incidents from being an agoraphobe.

21. I'm damn proud of my 2 years in individual therapy and the 3 years in group therapy, and have never been afraid to tell anyone. I'd highly recommend group therapy for pretty much anyone. I think we as people really have no clue how to communicate with others with any degree of decent depth.

22. I really dislike it when someone touches my fortune cookie before I do (excluding the server, of course). Most of my friends/family know this and are very good about it. Thanks buddies!

23. I adore monotonous, tedious, even repetitive tasks. I'm about to take up knitting. It'll be a BLAST!

24. If I ever get a tattoo, it'll be on the top of my foot. Possibly a Shakespeare quote. However, I can't quite get to that level of commitment.

25. I miss my eyebrow piercing.

I'm supposed to pass it on to 10 other blogs, but I'm just really lazy at the moment. Maybe if I remember in the future I will award it to 10 others.

Make sure you visit her website!

Thanks again!