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Fall 2011 TV Lineup – CW & Fox

Fall 2011 TV Lineup – CW & Fox

CW logoSo, I just realized I totally screwed up on the alphabetical order thing. Whatever. This update won’t be filled with quite as much as hatred.

There are only two new shows from the CW that I’m watching. Sarah Michelle Gellar‘s return to television in Ringer is odd. I want to love it. I do. See, SMG is playing twins. One is a ex-addict, ne’er-do-well, that is on the run from some bad guys who she doesn’t want to testify against. The other is all fancy and girly and has everything a girl could want. Except maybe not! She “kills” herself, the other SMG slides into her fancy life and tries to live the great life. Gets a little complicated, natch. The first episode had me quite a bit turned off in the first 15 minutes. The twin thing was not the best filmed trick I’ve ever seen. Also, they used a lot of Ringer Posterfake backgrounds and that wasn’t done very well either. Then… in walks Ioan Gruffud (pronounced “Yo-wahn Griffith”). Oh, he’s a beauty. Funny thing is, I didn’t even realize that he was in the show. Bonus! Anyhoo… the episode did get better overall. Enough to have me tuning in the 2nd week, and the 3rd. However, it is kinda losing my interest. SMG is always in some super-panicy mode, and it just gets a little exhausting. At this point, I will do Ioan a favor and keep tuning in. *eyebrows wigglin’*

The other show on the CW that I’m watching, and really by accident, is The Secret Circle. I didn’t do a lot of research on what all was new this year, so I didn’t even know this was on. This show is on cuz The Vampire Diaries has been so successful. So, I’m guessing the CW thought, hey, let’s take another book series from LJ Smith and make a show out of it. Total side note: LJ Smith is a crap writer. After watching The Vampire Diaries, I went and made the mistake of reading the first two books in that series. It was painful to read. I liked NONE of the characters. It truly amazes me that they made the show from this. I like the show, I hate the books. So, no way in hell will I try to read the The Secret Circle books. Yech. Anyway… short summary… bunch of teenagers are witches in a town that pretty much frowns on that sort of thing. It’s your basic teenage-soapy mess with some SFX thrown in. Your average person will not like this, however, if you’re like me and read Young Adult books like this anyway… you’ll dig it. Not as rockin’ as The Vampire Diaries, but it’ll do.

Fox LogoLet’s move over to Fox, and I’ll try to be quicker about these. What can I say, I’m verbose :P

We got New Girl with Zooey Deschanel. It’s not an awesome show, but I like it. Zooey D is just impossible to not like. She’s quirky, she’s goofy, and she sings her own theme song. So, our New Girl here has just been recently cheated on, and needs a place to live. She finds these 3 guys looking for a roomie on Craigslist *shudder*, and hijinks ensue. They replaced Damon Wayans, Jr. after the first episode. I guess that’s cuz his other New Girl Postershow got picked up. I liked him better than his replacement. But I’ll deal.

Let’s face it. I love me some sci-fi television. Which is kinda strange that I don’t read much sci-fi. When I first saw the previews for Terra Nova months ago, I literally laughed. A show with dinosaurs? Puh-lease. But, of course, I had to at least try it, no? Well, I was hooked pretty quickly. The show starts in 2149 and the planet is completely wrecked. The atmosphere has gotten so bad that everyone has to wear re-breathers when not indoors. There is a bit of hope. Scientists have discovered a rip in time or something to 85 Million BC. They have been sending groups of people back in time to establish a colony. It’s supposedly in a different time stream than current time, but I’m betting that’s not the case. It’s also a one-way trip. It has a bit of a Lost feel to it. There is a whole group of “others” called Sixers that are like rebels.

I also watched the first two episodes of The X Factor. I think I just might be done with all reality shows (‘cept Surivor), cuz I can’t really get into this to watch it again. I thought I would like it cuz Simon is back being Simon. Except he doesn’t seem as harsh. Then again, The X Factor is much more of a building of a talent. So, maybe there is just no need to be super rude at this point. Maybe that will come :D Also, I lurv the hootchified music that Nicole Sherzinger puts out and she has some great ta-tas, but damn, she’s a horrible judge. The original british chic was better. Also, the host? Yah, I’ve already forgot him.

Fall 2011 TV Lineup – NBC

Fall 2011 TV Lineup – NBC

NBC LogoNow that I’ve started writing up my feelings on these shows, I have started to see that I don’t seem to like very many overall. I didn’t really feel that way beforehand. But I guess when you actually put your thoughts to “paper”, you can see them more clearly. This particular trend continues with NBC’s new offerings.

First up is the oh-so-laughable The Playboy Club. This was the first show I broke my rule on, and just immediately stopped watching. OMG. This was just painful. My mom actually seemed to like it. Of the people I talked to about the new shows, she was the only one that seemed to show interest in this show. Probably why it was cancelled after only 2 episodes. Woohoo!

Next up are two 30-minute shows I actually talked myself into attempting. We have Up All Night with Will Arnett and Christina Applegate. They are basically some hipster folks whoUp All Night have recently had a baby that had not planned on. Maya Rudolph plays an Oprah-esque talk show host that is Christina Applegate’s boss and best friend. She is so clueless to the real world that this is where most of the comedy comes from. I’m on the fence on this one. I am still watching it. But what investment is it really for me to watch a 30-minute comedy out of the corner of my eye on Hulu? None. I’m very indifferent about this one. I will probably continue to watch it out of the corner of my eye while I’m working or something. And I wouldn’t be heartbroken if it were canned.

Free Agents… just found out it was cancelled. I thought it was OK. Hank Azaria and Kathryn Hahn were actually quite good together. And I really loved Hank Azaria’s secretary. Her mad-awesome indifference and honesty was hella awesome for some laughs. But, whatever. It’s gone.

nbc-prime-suspectMaria Bello‘s butch-ass cop character in Prime Suspect is just typical cop fare to me. This is based on a British show that starred Helen Mirren. I’m betting this is no where close to the original. Well, that’s just been the case in most UK to US converted shows. It’s not awful. I like Maria Bello, but sometimes I think she is pushing the butch-cop thing a bit much. The hat? Hmmm. The gum? Annoying. And what’s up with her orange-glow? She’s a cop in NYC. I’m betting those don’t typically get a lot of sun action. But if you were to take it from this gal, they spend all day in the damn open air. Maria sweetie, it makes you look older. Doing you no favors.

Very interested in the upcoming Grimm show. Has a very interesting cast, and a very different type of storyline. I need something original, people. Let’s do better.

Fall 2011 TV Lineup – CBS

Fall 2011 TV Lineup – CBS

CBS logoFirst, let me talk briefly about CBS’ logo. It’s weak. I didn’t realize this until I went searching for one. Really, CBS, let’s update this ancient look. Anyhoo…

First up… Unforgettable, is well, kinda forgettable. It does star cutie-patootie UnforgettablePoppy Montgomery from Without a Trace. She still has an awful American accent. Why won’t anyone just let her be her Australian-self? I like the red hair on her though. It also has Nip/Tuck alum Dylan Walsh. This is about a lady that can’t forget anything. However, she is plagued by one thing she cannot remember… who killer her sister? Bah. How played out does this sound? I know I watch a lot of television, so I’m gonna be a bit jaded when it comes to this stuff, but I just feel like.. whatever. Besides the memory shtuff, it’s a pretty straightforward cop show. The really irritating part of the show is how they show her remembering something that she saw earlier in the show that now solves the case. Think House’s stunned looks right before he diagnoses a patient, but far more irritating and in slow-mo, and just not done well. I watched 2 episodes I think. Maybe I’ll watch 1 more. I’d really like to give shows 3 episodes before I completely axe ’em. But 3 has seemed hard this season. Is 2 enough? I mean, it is an arbitrary rule I have imposed upon myself. Surely I can change it, no? Yah, I’m sure the OCD will not let me.

Something I could not give 3 episodes to was Person of Interest. I did watch 2. Well, I checked out really early on the 2nd episode. The 1st episode was a bit Person of Interestchaotic and gave me no incentive to care about any of the characters. You learn that Jim Caviezel‘s character is this awful looking homeless dude, and 2 minutes later he’s all cleaned up and working for Michael Emerson‘s (of Lost fame) character. What is he doing? Ummm… I think they have some surveillance system that can anticipate all kinds of crime. The US government takes care of the big terrorist type things and now these two take care of the mundane.. like potential murders. I usually adore Michael Emerson’s weirdness, and thought this could carry my interest. But Caviezel is so boring and void of any character, even with his supposed emotional back story, that it hurts to watch this show. Done. No more.

Poor CBS. Batting 0 here. However, CSI has a new character in house. Ted Danson has joined the cast after Laurence Fishburne departure. I actually kinda dig him. I never would have even wanted to watch something with Ted Danson in it, but Damages and Bored to Death have completely changed my attitude towards me some Danson.

Fall 2011 TV Lineup – ABC

Fall 2011 TV Lineup – ABC

I thought I would drop some notes on the current lineup of new Fall television shows. Last year I did not really go out of my way to watch many new shows. I watch an insane amount of television and I guess I was just feeling a little overwhelmed. So, I didn’t want to add to that mountain at the time. This year, I suppose I felt I had the room in my schedule and I dove right in. Here is a very quick rundown of what I thought of some of the shows. I shall go alphabetical by network.


Let us start with one of the worst shows I have seen in a really long time—Charles’s Angels. I cannot even believe this crap is still on. I think one of my friends said it best. The only reason that this is still on the air is cuz Drew Barrymore is an executive producer on the show.

I actually managed to watch the entire first episode. And if you’ve seen it, you’ll understand what a feat that was. Three very vapid, but beautiful, women. That part is a given. Then there is Bosley. He’s supposed to be some young, hunky, cybergeek. Whatevs. I’ve already wasted too many words on this mess.

Next up is ABC’s attempt to get on the Mad Men band wagon—Pan Am. This show confuses me. I have now watched 3 episodes of this show, and I’m still revengetruly baffled. Is this show supposed to be about Pan Am stewardesses or CIA show? So, basically, the airplanes and ladies are just a vehicle to have a show about covert operations for the CIA. Bah. Lame. But I think I might still watch it, if I have spare time. It’ll be one of those shows I leave unwatched until I am so bored and have nothing else to watch.

I saved the best of ABC’s new stuff for last. Revenge is uhhhh-mazing. I’ve seen 3 episodes so far, and each one has not disappointed. It’s the story of a girl come back to where she grew up as a child, and where her father was betrayed by all those around him. I’m super curious as to how this is going to last for more than a season. It seems like it might have been better as one of those one-shot summer shows or something. However, if they figure out how to make this show last more than a season, more power to them. Just don’t make it suck. If you only pick up a limited number of shows this season… this needs to be one. Good stuff.

Suburgatory PosterLast of ABC’s shows that I watched was a complete and utter mistake. I accidentally set Suburgatory to record, and since I had time for it, I figured I would give it a try. SO glad I did. Really funny stuff. I normally hate 30-minute shows. Mainly cuz the majority of 30-minute stuff is sitcoms. And I do not under any circumstances watch sitcoms. I cannot stand the canned laughter or “filmed in front of a live studio audience” BS. I do not need to know when to laugh. I think I’m intelligent enough to know when I find something funny. I’ve digressed… back to Suburgatory. It’s not filmed in front of a live studio audience. Booyah.

It’s the story of a girl who has been ripped out of her known world of Manhattan and been placed into the gawdforsaken world of the suburbs. I like this girl. I like her a lot. She’s witty, she’s rebellious, she’s insecure but strong. The relationship she has with her single-father is very nice to see. Their relationship reminds me a bit of Castle and his daughter, but with even more intentional hilarity. Definitely one of my fave new shows.

I did not mean for this to be this long. And I’ve only covered one network. Well, let’s make this a series about series. Tomorrow’s entry will be all about CBS’ lineup.

Buffy, Season 7 Disc 6

Buffy, Season 7 Disc 6

7×20 Touched

Random styling comment… the beginning scene where all the girls, sans Buffy, are all talking over each other is filmed all NYPD Blue-like — super shaky handheld camera work. I dunno if that was about trying to make the audience feel as lost as they were or what. It just seemed odd, and it stuck out.

After being kicked out of her own house, Buffy walks alone amidst the paniced evacuees and looters. She breaks into someone else’s house to get some sleep. Spike and Andrew return with news about the Caleb and the vineyard. He quickly finds out what happened with Buffy and he’s off trying to pick up her scent. He finds her quickly. They talk about the difference between quitting and being rejected. The power is still in her hands. She just has to take it back.But still feeling the hit of rejection, Buffy just wants to sleep, and she asks Spike to hold her. So he does, and they fall asleep in each other’s arms. *sigh* So sweet.

Spike: You listen to me. I’ve been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I’ve seen things you couldn’t imagine, and done things I prefer you didn’t. I don’t exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn’t exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, and there’s only one thing I’ve ever been sure of: you. Hey, look at me. I’m not asking you for anything. When I say, “I love you,” it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a woman. You’re the one, Buffy.

The First visits Faith in the form of the Mayor, he once quasi-father figure. He taunts her and tries to unbalance her by telling her that Buffy only thinks of her as a killer, and that’s all Buffy will ever consider her. Robin Wood finds her and they discuss the First and how it showed itself to Robin. They share a moment or something, and since this is the night before the end of the world… there’s only one thing left to do. Yup, SEX. Then later on there is this great scene with them discussing quality of said encounter. She thinks it was stellar, he says it was a’ight. She says she’s gorgeous, and he tells her he’s far prettier than she is. Which is kinda true. D.B. Woodside is a very beautiful man. The eyes alone. Good stuff.

It really ends up being quite the night for the lovin’. Kennedy and Willow get it on upstairs. Xander and Anya seem pissy at all the moaning and groaning from upstairs, and eventually scratch their jealous  itches on the kitchen floor. I guess impending death will do that to ya.

The next morning Buffy goes to visit her bud Caleb at the vineyard. This time she’s much more prepared for what he’s capable of and she keeps making him miss. Quite cute really. It starts with a very Matrix-esque lean back scene, then proceeds to her being super fast and tiny and all avoidy. They do this for a bit, and Buffy eventually discovers a hidden room containing a weapon.

Faith and the Potentials are in the sewers, thanks to some information they managed to squeeze out of a captured Bringer. After a wee skirmish there, they realize there’s not much going on down there, until Faith discovers a bomb about to explode.

Ugh. It’s really started to set in. There’s only 2 more episodes left. It’s so sad :(

7×21 End of Days

Buffy has found what The First was keeping from her and what Caleb was taunting her about having — a weapon. They keep referring to it as a scythe, but it doesn’t really look like one I’m familiar with. Whatever it is, it’s wicked cool. It’s supposed to be some ancient tool, but it looks awfully new to me. It’s got clean sparkly chrome looking stuff on it. Could they achieve chrome way back when? Just a thought.

Guardian: I’m sorry, what was your name?
Buffy: Buffy.
Guardian: No, really…

So, she must be like King Arthur or something, cuz she just pries the weapon out of stone where Caleb and his blind buddies have been trying to get it out of. Caleb looks quite exasperated when she manages to pick it up like any other daily household object.

Over in the bomb-land with Faith and Potentials, well, the bomb went off. It killed quite a few and left Faith unconscious. So unconscious in fact, she could go off and film her new show at the time — Tru Calling. Decent show, but it didn’t fare well. So, bomb goes off, ubervamps come out of the woodwork to attack, Buffy comes by to save the day with her new shiny weapon. I think it may have even matched her outfit. Our Buffy, always about the style.

Buffy gives Xander a task that he’s most de-balled by. She wants him to run and take Dawn with him. Dawn’s a slick one, so he has to knock her out to do it. Once she comes to and finds out what’s going on, she manages to turn things around on Xander, what with the one eye and all, and head back to Sunnydale.

I forget what lead her there, but Buffy ends up at this tomb in the graveyard that we’ve never ever noticed before. It has all kinds of ancient design stuff on it, and no one ever noticed it. Hmm. In the tomb, she finds an old woman who tells her the story of the scythe and why it was created. It was made in secret and kept from the shadowmen. Just as she’s reallly relaying the info, Caleb comes and snaps her neck. Oh snap, indeed.

As the two of them tussle about, Caleb appears to get the upperhand, until Angel arrives and knocks him down. But, this is Buffy’s thing and Angel knows this, so he steps aside and lets her finish it. She ends up doing a nice gut move on Caleb then gives Angel a luscious liplock worthy of any hello. Well, no hello I’ve ever been a part of, but I’m betting I’m just weird.

Nearby, Spike is watching with a look of either disappointment or total broken heart. Sometimes it’s just hard to tell. The First visits him as Buffy. Man, when they are down, the First is always just right there. Oh right, original pure evil… sounds about right.

7×22 Chosen

Buffy and Angel’s reunion of the lips is interrupted by Caleb. Guess that gut-check wasn’t the end-all after all. Buffy quickly dispatches him with a good slice with the scythe – starting at the man melons and goes straight up. That should take care of him now, I’m thinking. Buffy goes back to Angel to get some more lip action, but then Angel brings up the fact that he can smell Spike all over her. Buffy tells him that Spike has a soul now. This scene gets so cute, cuz Angel actually gets jealous.

Angel: That’s great. Everyone’s got a soul now.
Buffy: He’ll make a difference.
Angel: You know, I started it. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing.
Buffy: Oh, my God. Are you twelve?

After their cute tete-a-tete, Buffy asks Angel to go back to LA. She needs him there in case she’s not successful in Sunnydale. He can be her next line of defense. Oh, he also came with an amulet that Wolfram & Hart gave him, and he thought it was meant for him cuz they said for something ensouled that wasn’t human. So, I guess having that Spike around is a bit handy in those situations where you’d rather not be the one helping. Anyway, he does like his woman tells him and he leaves.

Later, Buffy comes to the conclusion that she can use the scythe to access crazy awesome power to give to all the Potentials. However, Willow is going to have to access those wicked powers that made her all evil last time. So, she’s a bit worried about that. Everyone heads to the school, to the seal which they intend to open. They are taking the fight to the ubervamps. The fight ends up starting a tad early, but they manage to hold on… then pooof, Willow’s magic works and all the Potentials around the globe get their powers. So, now the Potentials in Sunnydale can start kicking ass, Buffy-style. Willow didn’t do all dark and veiny either. Her hair actually got super white and Kennedy called her a goddess. Guess she’s learned that just cuz she has power, doesn’t mean it always has to be a bad thing. Her hair quickly goes back to red though, in case you were wondering.

Buffy: I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there’s evil. And that I was chosen to fight it. I wish a whole lot of the time that I hadn’t been. I know a lot of you wish I hadn’t been either. But this isn’t about wishes. This is about choices. I believe we can beat this evil. Not when it comes, not when its army’s ready, now. Tomorrow morning, I’m opening the seal. I’m going down into the Hellmouth and I am finishing this once and for all. Right now you’re asking yourselves what makes this different. What makes us any more than a bunch of girls getting picked off one by one. That’s true. None of you have the power that Faith and I do. So here’s the part where you make a choice. What if you could have that power… now? In every generation, one slayer is born… because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power… should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer… will be a slayer. Every girl who could have the power… will have the power… can stand up, will stand up. Slayers… every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?

So, as they fight the ubervamps, they just keep coming. At one point they realize they can’t take ’em all. They’ve lost a lot of Potentials and Anya has even died — sliced from shoulder to waist, it was wicked gross. As they start to realize they are outnumbered, a big chunk of sun or something hids Spike who is wearing the amulet. He doesn’t burn up though. The amulet sends numerous rays of sunshine into the ubervamp cavern which incinerates them. Only thing is, he must stay there to make sure they all get gone. Buffy and Spike have a small moment and she heads off to catch up with everyone else who’s already left via school bus. Spike stays until all the ubervamps are dead, and then he is finally incinerated himself — going out a champion. Who’da thunk?

Buffy: I love you.
Spike: No you don’t, but thanks for saying it.

Buffy has to run like mad though cuz the town seems to be caving in from the school outwards. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Buffy manages to catch up with the bus. They stop once they get clear of the town, and when they turn back, it’s just a huge crater. No more town.

The show ends with Buffy starting a bit of a smile, when she realizes that she’s not the only Slayer anymore. She might even be able to step back and have a bit of a life. That is something for our Ms. Summers to smile about… it’s only what she’s wanted from the beginning.

Angel, Season 4 Disc 6

Angel, Season 4 Disc 6

4×20 Sacrifice

Hiding from Jasmine in the sewers, Angel, Fred, Wes, Lorne, and Gunn run into a strange creature who claims that the beings of his world loved and worshipped Jasmine first. As Jasmine’s forces close in, Angel realizes that he must travel to this other dimension to find the key to defeating her.

Lorne: I really hate today.
Gunn: I’m worried about tomorrow myself.

Ugh. Just a bad episode. Ok, the alternate universe where Angel goes to get more info was kind of cool, but other than that… bleh. There must be something about 4th seasons in the Joss-Verse. Cuz Buffy’s 4th season sucked and it’s happening with Angel as well.

For later reference, he finds out a dude called the Keeper of the Word seems to hold Jasmine’s true name. Now he just needs to get the guy to talk… which is kind of hard with the dude’s mouth sewn shut.

4×21 Peace Out

Angel comes back from that other world or dimension or whatever with the head of the Keeper of the Word. The word in this case is Jasmine’s true name. He cuts the sewn-shut mouth and out the name is whispered.  As soon as that happens, Jasmine loses her power. People also start to see that same maggot-y face that I guess is her true face. So, they start running scared.

He and Angel end up having a big fight. She tries to throw a car on him. Guess her strength is still around. Connor saves the day by coming up behind her and punching her through the back of her head. It was gross. He then just walks away all mopily in true teenager fashion.

Jasmine: Why do you hate me so much?
Angel: Let’s run down the list, huh? Rain of fire, blotting out the sun, enslaving mankind, and yeah, oh yeah. Hey! You eat people!
Jasmine: Like you never have?

Angel returns to the hotel, and the gang look beyond spooked. Just as Angel catches their vibes, Lilah walks out of the office.

This could be a good episode, I don’t know. I just really really really REALLY hate season 4. It’s just so hard to be unbiased.

4×22 Home

So, Lilah is back. And she’s sporting a real nifty scarf thing. Wonder why? Oh, yah, that’s right. Wesley cut her head off after she died. Silly Wesley. Since Lilah does work for the law firm from hell, death does not necessarily mean the end of her contract with them. She’s been brought back to offer the gang Wolfram & Hart, LA Division. Yup, the whole shebang. They get to take over W&H and do whatever they like. They ask why, and she says cuz they just ended world peace, and that’s just bad for business. They take a bit of offense to that, but ultimately realize that yes, they did indeed end world peace. Hard to argue with.

She says they just have to be outside the hotel at dawn, and there will be a limo waiting for them. They all act completely put out, and yet all of them end up out there waiting for the limo. They figure they will just see what’s going on. Oh, and Connor is out wandering the streets being all emo and shit.

As they arrive at W&H, everyone greets “Mr. Angel”. That was kind of humorous. Lilah greets them and wants to split them all up to see the various departments they would be working in. After some initial suspicion, they end up going. Looks like Lorne will head the Entertainment Division, Fred would be in the Science Division, Wesley would be an uber-librarian. Charles thinks he’s being taken to security cuz all he ever seems to be good for is muscle. Seems like he is being taken up into that freaky White Room. Wonder what that’s about.

Angel: I’m not bursting into flames.
Lilah: Necro-tempered glass. The whole building’s fitted with it. Helps keep those uplifting, wholesome, rays from charbroiling the boss…and 30% more energy efficient.

Angel is shown his office, with his fancy new glass, and also told they have an amulet that will help Buffy with her current apocalypse. He can have it, if he agrees to takeover the firm. He seems completely bored until she shows him his big screen TV in his office, until he sees Connor on the news. He has taken families hostage from a nearby mall or sporting goods store or something. So, off he goes to rescue him, of course.

Back at W&H, Lilah finds Wes in the archives looking for something. He finds her contract and burns it, but it just appears in the file again. Lilah actually seems a bit moved by the gesture.

Back at the store, Connor is doing bomb-y things with batteries and such. Cordelia is there, still in a coma, and strapped up with a bomb too. He’s mad at Angel for letting Holtz get him. Well, actually he’s just mad about anything and everything. He did grow up in a hell dimension, so maybe that’s natural. Connor goes to turn on his bomb, but Angel punches him and they fight. Angel frees everyone in the store, throws knife in Connor’s leg, tells Connor he really loves him. Typical family issues.

Everyone returns from their tours and they look very impressed and wide-eyed. Angel enters and tells them all he took the deal. Lilah says they will take care of Cordelia, and try to find out how to get her out of the coma. She gives him the amulet, and mentions something about taking him to see Connor. The rest of the Gang don’t seem to know who Connor is.

Angel’s limo arrives in woods. He’s looking at a nice big log cabin-y type house. He looks in the windows, and sees Connor at a table with a family eating dinner. They are talking about college and how well he did in high school. This is his family now, apparently.

Angel takes his amulet package and heads out… to Sunnydale.

Random observation. It’s just weird that he’s all about Cordy, “The woman he loves”… but he goes to Sunnydale and talks about his possible future with Buffy. He’s a SLUT HO BAG. I’m just sayin’.

Angel, Season 4 Disc 5

Angel, Season 4 Disc 5

4×16 Players

After discovering that Cordelia is pregnant, the gang go into research mode trying to determine what type of demon the offspring could be. It does seem to be their experience when women, namely Cordelia, get super preggers super fast. So, it has to be a demon of sort. Connor is taking the whole father thing to a creepy weird level. He’s being super protective. There’s even this really disgusting scene where the baby or whatever it is is poking and grinding all up in Cordy’s belly. It’s beyond hurlable.

Meanwhile, our rather electric girl Gwen is back in the picture. She’s requesting Gunn’s suave nature. Cuz when I think of Gunn, I think suave. No, not really. They end up at this uber-fancy party where Gwen tells Gunn they are trying to rescue a little girl from her kidnappers. Of course, since Gwen has never really been the 100% truthful sort, we find this isn’t in fact, true. She used that to get Gunn there as her muscle. She’s really looking for the plans for some government whosawhatsit that will allow her to not be quite so electrical.

Since Angel is now fully restore with his soul, he informs the gang that Angelus did not kill Lilah. He stumbled on an already dead Lilah and just took advantage of the available niblets. Lorne gets a spell together to clear up his mojo. He’s worried about the fact that he couldn’t tell Angel was really Angelus before. Our Evil Cordy is quite worried herself since she knows if Lorne gets his mojo back he’ll probably realize she’s not all she’s cracked up to be. While she’s busy trying to quietly creep up on Lorne during his spell casting, all the lights in the room get turned on and we see the whole Gang there watching Evil Cordy approaching Lorne with her very evil looking knife. Looks like they aren’t as clueless as she was assuming.

Angel: Try this one.
Wesley: Something about strangling poultry.

Okay that is just funny cuz of the whole “choking chicken” reference.

4×17 Inside Out

Angel realized Cordy was the Beast boss cuz of some of the phrasing she used in his head and how she referred to her coming spawn. Angel wants to know where the real Cordelia is. While the Gang is trying to get answers from Evil Cordy, Connor comes in for the rescue and tranqs everyone, takes Cordy off to some romantic old meat processing warehouse. Evil Cordy keeps taking advantage of Connor’s mushy pliable gray matter, and keeps telling him how much Angel hates Connor cuz of the love Connor and Cordy share. Gaw… worse storyline ever. Surely they could have come up with another way to work Charisma’s pregnancy into the story.

Angel goes to visit skip since he Cordelia mentioned him as her spirit guide when she was in that quasi-coma before. Skip must not be so wonderfully perfect and gleeful as he comes across, cuz they end up in a big ol’ fight. Skip admits to taking a dive the last time they fought cuz this was all planned from WAY back when. During the fight, Angel manages to break off some of Skip’s horn thing and other bony parts. Somehow they end up back in the hotel lobby and they manage to bind Skip to this dimension while they get some more info. He finally ends up telling them that the demon possessing Cordy is going to give birth to itself essentially. That seems all kinds of wrong, even on top of the whole Oedipal Cordy/Connor thing.

Skip: It’s going to be really hard for you to accept, but Cordelia has ascended to a higher plane.
Angel: I know. She’s back.
Skip: Back?
Angel: Or at least something that looks like her.
Skip: Woah, wait. Nobody comes back from paradise. (pause) Okay, a Slayer once, but…

Cordelia has asked Connor to gather some things for her so that she can have her baby before anyone can get a hold of her. She wants her baby to be born free. One of the ingredients is the blood of a virgin, so off he goes to get him one. After he gets one off the street, cuz they are so readily available these days? As if. He has a bit of an internal struggle of the right/wrong issue with killing someone that isn’t evil. He sees Darla as his little angel on the shoulder, or maybe it is really Darla showing up to lead him the way. Whatever. She’s trying to persuade him to not kill her. In the end, Connor is about to set the girl free but Cordy interrupts and slices the girls throat. For a moment we see the Darla apparition dressed in all white, while Evil Cordy is dressed in all black. Interesting, and yet painfully obvious.

So, she gets her virgin blood, makes Connor get his hand all bloody and slap of that gooey liquid on her belly. And boom… looks like baby is on it’s way. World is a-shaking’, Skip manages to get away and then Wes kills him, Angel finds Connor & Cordelia and fighting ensues. Just as everything is coming to a head, big burst of light shoots out of Cordy’s belly and then that light turns into a woman. Suddenly, Angel is quite bespelled.

4×18 Shiny Happy People

Cordelia’s “child” is a fully grown woman, and everyone who sees or hears her instantly and rapturously begins to worship her.  The first who experience this are Angel and Connor. Now they are united in their disgusting adoration of the new lady.

Angel brings Cordy back to the hotel, and as the new lady comes into the hotel everyone bows to her in awe. Really this isn’t new. I experience this every where I go. It is rough, but I accept the responsibility that comes with such reverence.

Angel: They don’t understand.
Conner: No.
Angel: We don’t want to kill her. We just… want to find her, so we can worship her.

Once the lady finds out what has happened in the area because of her birth, she wants to go out and have the Gang help fix as much as they can. They go off and attack vamps, and she and Fred sit on the sidelines. The lady wants them to come up with a name for her. This will obviously mean something. It just has that ring to it. Foreshadowing or something.

Everywhere she goes she keeps getting adored. She catches on to this quickly and makes nice little speeches to everyone about love, and goodness and blahblahblah. While she’s giving a nice little speech someone in the crowd tries to attack her, calling her a monster, and he sees her face as all maggoty and decayed. She does get a bit of a cut and her shirt is cut and has blood. In Fred’s complete devotion, she takes on the task of getting the shirt clean again. In what seems like days, she finally admits she can’t get it clean and she bought a new one. When she finally sees the lady again, she sees the same maggoty face that the attacking guy did.

Later, Angel admits to the lady he’s afraid that she could make him too happy and bring out Angelus again.

Everyone realizes that Fred isn’t good anymore. She’s evil cuz she can’t see what they all see. Once Fred realizes that this isn’t a good thing, she has to leave town. On her way out, she sees the lady, now named Jasmine, on TV sending her message to all of LA. Everyone watching the TV show gets just as awe-full.

4×19 The Magic Bullet

It’s like a wonderful Beach Boy scored utopia. Everyone is so wonderful and happy and being nice to each other. Well, except Fred. She’s busy getting chased by Wes and Gunn. She manages to get away in the sewers.

The hotel is now Jasmine central where all the devotees are gathering to just get a glimpse of their most wonderful lady of the perfectness.  After she addresses her followers, she grants two people with the ultimate privilege of visiting with her upstairs. This can’t be good.

Random fact, we learn Lorne’s heart is physiologically in his ass. Interesting.

Random observation… Gina Torres’ lips are gigantic. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it’s really hard to stop looking at them anytime they are on screen. HUGE.

As Jasmine is getting stronger it seems like she is getting more powers. She is able to use all her followers minds like cameras and track Fred down. She can even talk through them. She’s finally tracked down and her and Angel go to her to get her back. During a little tussle, Fred gets a hold of a gun and shoots through Jasmine into Angel. She does this intentionally because she realizes that it was Jasmine’s bloody shirt that made her see Jasmine differently. Once Jasmine’s blood gets into Angel he sees Jasmine the same as Fred. It seems like one of the greatest things he’s ever experienced has just been ripped from him. That has to suck.

After Jasmine gets all shot up by Fred she realizes what her blood does. She tells the store owner where Fred was tracked to to burn his store down so no one can get tainted by her blood. And so he does.

Back at the hotel, Jasmine tells everyone else that Angel is now lost too. And she continues to take followers up to her room. She then tells the people to take off their clothes.  We see glowing coming from her room and then she comes out and tells Connor she ate the people. She uses the energy to heal all her bullet wounds.

Fred & Angel break into Cordy’s room at the hotel and they cut Cordy to get her blood. They figure that since she gave birth to Jasmine that her blood will also do the trick. They grab Lorne, then Wes & Gunn and expose them to the reality. No one seems happy about it. They seemed to miss their utopian version of things. They all finally get Connor and cut him and place Cordy’s blood in the wound. Doesn’t seem to work cuz he calls on Jasmine’s security to get them all.

Connor: I’ll kill you!
Angel: It’ll pass.
Lorne: Yeah, right, ’cause Lord knows he’s never tried that before.

Buffy, Season 7 Disc 5

Buffy, Season 7 Disc 5

7×16 Storyteller

Andrew creates a documentary called Buffy, Slayer of the Vampyres, a record of the current situation in Sunnydale to show to future generations. He manages to capture many important moments, and to annoy almost everyone in the house. But Buffy needs to tear him away from his filmmaking because the Seal of Danzalthar is active and Andrew may hold the key to closing it before it destroys the town.

Andrew: Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers. Join me on a new voyage of the mind…a little tale, I like to call, Buffy, Slayer of the Vampyres.

This episode goes from making me laugh my ass off, to almost crying. It starts very tongue-in-cheek, with Andrew’s documentary. The high school is experiencing an increase in hormonal teenage issues. Riots among cliques are starting, and the kids are just in general wanting to fight. The First manages to get some kids in the basement to start boogety-boogety chanting to open up the seal. It starts to glow… then Buffy interrupts.

So, maybe the funny stuff died off quick… but it was really funny when it was. Anyway, we then get to a point where Buffy has Andrew over the seal in the high school basement and making him admit that he did kill his friend Jonathan knowingly. He wasn’t possessed by the First, he simply killed his friend. As he finally admits his part in Jonathan’s death, he starts to cry. His tears drip on the seal causing it to stop glowing.

7×17 Lies My Parents Told Me

Buffy, Spike, and Wood seem to be fighting side by side quite often these days. Doesn’t seem to make the evil stares Wood gives Spike any less ominous.

Giles meets Wood and Buffy at the High School. Giles insists that they have to do something to fix Spike… or get rid of him. He’s too much of a liability. He has a weird stone thing that is supposed to be able to go through Spike’s brain to find the trigger the First has put there. Once they find it, maybe they can deactivate it. Once they get it in his brain via his eyeball. Spike flashes back to when he was human and living with his ailing mother. He recites a poem he wrote for a girl to his mother. His mother goes into a coughing fit, coughing up blood. Poor William loves his mother so, and he hates to see her so sick. Once she stops coughing, she starts singing “Early One Morning” to him. A song that she has sang to him since he was a wee lad. He comes out of his weird flashback and tells everyone what he saw. He says he’s fixed and all better now.

Another flashback shows Spike with Drusilla after she’s changed him to a vampire. He now wants to make his mother a vampire so she won’t be sick anymore. She doesn’t seem very happy about it, but he does it anyway.

Wood and Giles have a conversation about Spike. They both still think he’s very dangerous and he has to be taken care of. Buffy doesn’t seem to be willing to admit what has to be done, so it falls to them to take care of the necessary.

Giles takes Buffy out to the graveyard to train and go back to the basics. A vampire attacks, and he won’t let her kill it. She has to just keep fighting it while he is asking her questions and basically preaching. After quite awhile, and Giles continuing to rant about Spike, Buffy realizes Giles has been stalling her. Giles admits that Wood is off right now taking care of the Spike problem.

Wood takes Spike to his garage, and it just so happens to be covered with crosses on every surface. Well, except the floor. Wood starts up some iTunes and starts to play “Early One Morning”. Spike goes all vamp. They fight, and we see another Spike flashback. His mother shows up and she looks significantly healthier than we last saw her. And, she’s suddenly a mega bitch. Spike wanted to take her around the world with him and Dru, and she says she wants to finally be rid of his sniveling loser ass. Poor Spike is so sad.  He stakes her.

Back in the fight, Spike’s face goes back to normal. Wood keeps beating the crap out of Spike, but it seems Spike’s heart is no longer in it. He’s not trying to hurt Wood, much. But he does look like he’s about to bite him.

Buffy shows up at Wood’s garage, and Spike is just leaving. Spike tells her that he didn’t kill Wood, but if he tries that crap again, he won’t hold back. Back at the house, Buffy tells Giles that Spike is alive and shuts the door on his face.

Buffy: (to Wood) You try anything again, and he’ll kill you. And more importantly… I’ll let him.

7×18 Dirty Girls

Willow comes back from Angel’s 4×15 Orpheus episode. With her she’s toting a powerful ally, Faith. However, the First has a new piece on the board as well. A misogynistic “preacher” named Caleb has come to town, and he throws down the gauntlet as soon as he enters Sunnydale. Turns out he is the one responsible for bombing the Watchers Council and the Bringers or “Ray Charles Brigade” as he calls it.  Buffy and Faith follow a Bringer straight to where Caleb’s crashing, which happens to be a vineyard. With this bit of info, Buffy takes everyone there to confront him, and she ends up getting her ass knocked unconscious with one punch. Obviously, Caleb is a bit more than meets the eye. Oh, and I did not even intend for that slight pun. During the big fight, after Buffy is unconscious, Caleb pokes out Xander’s left eye. Brutal. Looked cool in a really disgusting ooey gooey way.

Spike: Let me guess — leather pants, nice right cross, doe eyes, holier-than-thou glower — you must be Faith.

There is this really random scene in the beginning of the episode. I guess it’s not that crazy, but it’s a dream that Xander has of two of the potentials and he’s giving them advise in his bedroom. This of course turns into a naughty dream. We then see the rest of the girls staying at his place in a big pillow fight. I guess it makes sense. Xander is around all these girls all the time, and it’s not like he has much time for dating. I just thought it was odd.

Also, a not awful scene with Faith and Spike. He’s shirtless! Hello, this never gets old. And their topic of conversation is sex. Wuh? Yah. Mmm. Not sex with each other, not really, but just sex in general. But who cares… Spike’s partially nekkid. Woot. That’s all you need to know about the episode.

7×19 Empty Places

After Buffy realizes what Caleb is capable of, she’s walking around town. Looks like the entire town knows something big is happening and they are evacuating. As she’s walking through the standstill traffic, she sees Clem leaving and he tells her he doesn’t think anyone will be able to stop the impending doom. He tells her she should get out of town too.

Giles and Willow also see the mass exodus, and notice that everyone is acting rather odd. Especially the cops, who they manage to magick a file away from. The cops seem very eager to see justice done, for anything and everything, and then they talk of a fugitive that may be in town. Ooooh, I wonder who they could possibly be talking about?

The file they snagged from the cops is on Caleb, somehow, and they start combing through it to find out anything that will help them. They found out something about a mission, so they send Andrew and Spike to go check it out. The scene with Andrew and Spike on his motorcycle was just so funny.

Andrew: I-I bet even covert operatives eat curly fries. They’re really good.
Spike: Not as good as those onion blossom things.
Andrew: Ooh, I love those.
Spike: Yeah, me too.
Andrew: It’s an onion and it’s a flower. I-I don’t understand how such a thing is possible.
Spike: Oh, see, the genius of it is, you soak it in ice water for an hour so it holds its shape. Then you deep-fry it, root-side up, for about five minutes.
Andrew: Masterful.
Spike: Yeah. Tell anyone we had this conversation, I’ll bite you.
Andrew: Right.

Faith takes the Potentials for a bit of drinking and dancing at the Bronze. However, while she’s there, the cops find her. Tsktsk. When you escape prison, you can’t just go being in public all willy-nilly. Even in an apocalyptic town apparently. With the help of the Potentials, Faith gets away.

Andrew: Can’t? Can’t is a four-letter word! I’m Andrew, I’ll be your bad cop for the evening.

In a very strange move, everyone (except absent Spike & Andrew) go against Buffy and tell her she’s just throwing them into the fire. They aren’t ready, but she doesn’t seem to care. And well, she doesn’t seem to care, but she also seems to realize it’s now or never and pussyfooting around the issue isn’t going to do anything. But everyone basically throws her out, and tells her they want Faith in charge. Of course, this happens after Faith’s field trip. She’s like the cool aunt, and they like her more. Doesn’t matter that she might not know what the hell she’s doing, they just like her better. And in a move that truly baffles me, Giles, Xander, Anya, Willow, and Dawn all seem to support her stepping down. Dawn even tells her it would be best if she didn’t stay at the house. How fuqd up is that? Seems so random to me.

Angel, Season 4 Disc 4

Angel, Season 4 Disc 4

4×12 Calvary

While the gang is busy with other things, Lilah is able to sneak into the hotel basement to talk to Angelus.  She’s interested in saving her own ass from the Beast and thinks Angel knows how she can do that. They get quite close to striking a deal, but then the rest of the Gang discover her presence. Wesley chases her through the sewers and manages to catch her. She tells him that she didn’t seal Angel’s missing soul and he, oddly enough, believes her. I guess wettin’ your willy in someone makes you like a lie detector with them.  Wesley also discovers she has a book with her that talk specifically about the Beast. His copy of the same book doesn’t have the passages because hers is from another dimension.

He figures out in true convenient nerd fashion that the reason there’s no mention of the Beast or memories of the Beast is cuz all traces of his existence have been wiped out. And since Angelus’ mind wasn’t around when the spell was cast. He does have memories.

Angelus is having fun with the moron Gang cuz they didn’t figure out that the Beast isn’t the one calling the shots. He’s a flunky, not the boss. This is later shown to be true when the Beast offers up a weapon fashioned from his own bones to someone.

Gunn and Fred are busy breaking up, and Wes almost gets a chance to declare his love for Fred. But then Angelus has to go and reveal the fact that Wes has been sleeping with Lilah. Tsktsk. Evil sex can come back to haunt.

Angelus: Hmm, I’m telling ya, man if I swung that way — look at him. All rugged and handsome. And brains! Man, he’s damn near perfect.
Wesley: Thank you.
Angelus: Except the part about banging Lilah for the past 6 months. Kinda takes the shine off.

Cordelia has a vision that shows her a spell that will restore Angel’s soul. Once she gets the ingredients she needs, they all perform the spell and it appears to be a success. To test this, they have Angel sing and Lorne says that it’s really Angel and he’s back to his old brooding self. Angel insists he be kept in the prison though just in case the spell is only temporary. He orders everyone else about, but Cordelia stays behind. She accuses him of being a wuss and embarrassed by everything Angelus said. With Cordelia’s continued prodding, he agrees to leave the cage. Cordy goes to set him free, and he knocks her out. Guess that’s not Angel after all. He tells everyone he’s got some plans and heads out.

Cordelia gains consciousness and tells everyone what happened. They take off after Angelus, but Cordelia and Lilah stay behind. Because of all the vampires out on the street feeding willy-nilly, Angelus heads back to the hotel to get his slurpslurp on.  There’s a little chase between Angelus/Cordelia/Lilah. Lilah eludes Angelus, but then gets poked in the neck with a big weapon by Cordelia. Wait, isn’t that the weapon from the Beast? mmmhmmmm.

4×13 Salvage

Like the old adage – waste not, want not – Angelus grabs him up some dead and still bleeding Lilah. He gets his slurp on. Connor, Gunn and Wes walk in on this and of course think Angelus has killed Lilah.

In an effort to be thorough, Wesley realizes he’s going to have to behead Lilah so she doesn’t come back as a vampire. Cuz she was so much better than that pre-death? Bah. But of course he can’t just go and chop that noggin’ off. He has to have a weird ghost-y conversation with Lilah. All about his time with her and blahblahblah.

Lorne is trying to get his Furies friends to put that anti-demon attacking spell on at the hotel. They eventually get that working.

Angelus is off talking to the Beast and letting him know he’s definitely not up to taking orders from a peon like the Beast. he wants to talk to the main man/person/demon/it.

Angelus: That’s right, brothers and sisters – the rumors are true. Angel has left the building and I am back. But hey, I’m no different from the next guy. I put my victim’s skin on one leg at a time.

Cordelia is busy acting all injured and fainty. But, we see her reprimand her monster Beast-y minion too.

We get a bit of an update on Faith, the “other” Slayer. She’s being all butch and macho in prison. And she’s also busy almost getting killed by fellow prison mates with very nice ceremonial knives. Wes goes to visit her, once he realizes he’s going to need all the help he can get to put Angelus in his place. When Faith realizes what Wes is asking, Faith immediately breaks through the glass at the visiting booths and escapes out with Wes. Guess only Faith was keeping Faith in prison. Maybe she has learned.

Faith goes in search of Angelus, and since he knows she’s coming, he lets her find him. She ends up finding the Beast and Angelus, and starts in on the Beast. The Beast is very good at handing her ass to her. However, Angelus steps in and uses that bone weapon to kill the Beast. However, as soon as he does, the sun comes back out. He wasn’t thinking too far ahead apparently. With the help of the sun and a big window breaking, Faith escapes.

Meanwhile, Cordelia tells Connor she’s pregnant. I think I’m gonna hurl… again.

4×14 Release

Faith is quite beat up. Wesley takes her to his house to clean up, and she goes a bit psycho on his shower’s tiled walls.

Angelus is at a bar drinking and bragging and then he suddenly starts hearing a voice that no one else is hearing. Turns out it’s the Beast’s master talking to him. However, we see that it’s Cordelia speaking through some spelled stone or something in her room at the hotel. The same room she’s been hiding out in cuz she doesn’t want anyone other than Connor to know she’s preggers quite yet.

Angelus: Now this is disappointing. You never used to bleed so easy.
Faith: Screw you!
Angelus: Mmmm. Maybe after. I like my girls to lie still.

Angelus heads over to the hotel to do the usual threatening, witty ridicule, and trying to figure out who the Big Boss is. They all try to attack him, but just as Connor is about to really get at him, the Furies’ spell kicks in and Connor isn’t able to hit Angelus. Oooops. Does that mean our precious boy is part demon as well as fully annoying whiny brat?

Faith and Wesley are out trying to track Angelus down, and they stumble on the bar he was at earlier. They get some information from a junkie in the back of the bar. A junkie that gets high, then vamps bite on her so they can get high too. K.

Faith & Angelus find each other and duke it out. Very nice looking fight. Great wire work and camera work. Very elegant looking.

In the end, he gets the upperhand and grabs at Faith and bites down on her.

4×15 Orpheus

Shortly after Angelus bites down on Faithy he stumbles back and looks at her in confusion. Looks like Faith learned a little something from those junkies at the bar. Just as the fight started, she drugged herself so that she could incapacitate Angelus. Of course, Wesley had something to do with it. he’s not above hurting and using others to get to the end goal these days.

Angelus and Faith are both brought back to the hotel in pretty similar states. They both appear to be dreaming and they happen to be dreaming together. Or rather, Angelus is reliving Angel’s past, and Faith is there for the ride.  This must be Angelus’ version of hell, according to Faith, cuz he’s seeing things like Angel saving puppies.

Wesley knows he needs some serious mojo help, so he calls on dear Willow from the other show on  that other network. Willow figures out a way to get Angel his soul back without necessarily finding the jar it’s in. She’ll have to break the jar, and immediately have it find Angelus or something like that.

Wesley: A lot has happened, not just Angelus. I’ve been… I’ve changed. I’ve seen the darkness in myself. I’m not sure you would even begin to understand.
Willow: I flayed a guy alive and tried to destroy the world.
Wesley: Oh. Well . . . I never flayed anyone . . . I did keep a woman chained in a closet. (pause) I know, it’s not the same.
Willow: No, no, that’s dark. You’ve been to a place.

Cordy, let’s call her Evil Cordy, is really pissed about Willow’s presence. She tries everything to get in Willow’s way.

Faith and Angelus still stuck in Angel flashbacks. I thought the hair from the 1800s was bad. It has nothing on Angel’s hair in the 1970s. Oh goodgawd it’s awful. Really not flattering. Actually makes him look way chubbier.

As they continue to do the mystical dreamy mind tripping, Willow starts to get her spell on. The boss, aka Evil Cordy, slams some magic back at Willow. Don’t think she/it realizes how awesome Willow is, cuz she gets past all that. Evil Cordy has also told Connor that it is necessary to kill Angelus, and him being the stupid feeble-minded teenager with hormones, says ‘kay.  Just as he’s about to do the deed, Angel gets his soul back and Faith wakes up.

Willow takes Faith back to Sunnydale to help with their apocalypse there, and Cordelia walks down the stairs with belly just a-showing. From this point on, Cordelia has some of the most hideous wardrobe. Is it like payment for having gotten pregnant while the show was going on? Or is it like payment for ballooning to three times her size in the first few months. Either way, I can only imagine that it’s payment for something bad. Cuz the clothes are just beyond hideous.

Buffy, Season 7 Disc 4

Buffy, Season 7 Disc 4

7×12 Potential

Buffy and Spike begin to train the Potential Slayers. While Spike and Buffy are illustrating what a Potential should do in an attack with a vampire, Buffy realizes Spike is still hurt. They share quite the meaningful brief handholding and luscious look. Ok, maybe it wasn’t luscious… but I found it to be. The lesson Buffy is trying to instill in the girls is “Know their instincts, trust yours”. Good lesson. Yay Slayer teacher. As the girls are then getting a lesson in the Summers’ house basement, Dawn looks in from the outside. She appears to be longing to be part of this group of special individuals.

Willow informs everyone that Giles’ seers have found there is another Potential right there in Sunnydale. In an attempt to narrow down the search, Willow casts a locator spell. It appears to go straight at Dawn, and for a brief moment she believes she is a Potential. When she’s out walking to get away from everything, she runs into Amanda, a girl Buffy has counseled at the high school. Amanda tells her about a weird bumpy-headed dude that attacked her at school. Dawn goes back to the school with her to help. We find out that Dawn isn’t the Potential, but Amanda is. Dawn relinquishes her title with grace.

Xander: They’ll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn’t chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody’s watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You’re not special. You’re extraordinary.

Xander tells Dawn he knows what it’s like to be in a group full of people that are different and special. Sometimes it’s just as tough, if not tougher, to be normal around such a group. One of the few episodes where I feel for Dawn. She actually showed quite a bit of inner strength that she doesn’t usually seem to possess.

7×13 The Killer in Me

Just a random bit of info… I’ve noticed that Spike has not worn his big long black leather coat since his soul was returned to him. He did kill a Slayer to get that coat, so maybe that weighs heavily on his soul.

Giles takes the Potentials out on a retreat. I guess it’s meant to be like the one Buffy went on when she saw the First Slayer. Kennedy stays behind faking the flu. She really just stays behind to spend more time with Willow. They eventually kiss. It wasn’t earth-shattering, but when Kennedy pulls back from the kiss, Willow is now looking an awful lot like Warren. It’s still Willow in there, but the surface looks like Warren. She has no one to ask for help, so she goes to the local college Wiccan group she was once a part of. While there, she finds Amy aka Amy the Rat. She says she’s realized how bad she got with the magicks and she’s getting better. Amy says she will try to help Willow.

Buffy: Remember when things used to be nice and boring?
Willow: (thinks) No.

Spike is chained to the basement wall cuz they still don’t know if the First can control him. While Buffy and Spike are talking, his head starts to hurt, and he manages to yell out that it’s the chip causing the pain, not the First. The chip keeps firing for no reason, and Buffy realizes the only people that can help are the old Initiative military group. Buffy starts a search for them, including going to their old underground facilities. While searching in the dark gloomy-ness, Buffy and Spike are attacked by a weird demon thing that is curiously wearing fatigues. Anyway, while fighting it, it is mysteriously killed and the lights in the place are all turned on. They look above them and see a slew of army guys. They’ve been sent by Riley Finn to help Buffy in any way she needs where it concerns “Assface”. Riley’s apparent name for Spike. They give her the choice of fixing the chip or removing it.

The longer Willow looks like Warren, the more she starts to become him. She even goes to buy a gun and replay the day’s events when Warren killed Tara. While Kennedy is with Amy as she is performing a spell, it becomes clear that something is up with Amy. Turns out Amy is responsible for what is happening to Willow. She’s put a hex on her. The punishment was up to Willow’s subconscious, and Warren was the form it seems. Kennedy runs off to find Willow/Warren, and  finally clues in and kisses Warren/Willow. This returns Warren/Willow back to Willow.

The rest of the Gang — Anya, Dawn, Andrew, and Xander — suddenly suspect that Giles could be the First after a phone call they receive from England. The Watcher that Giles came in on almost dead a couple eps back, says the only thing he remembers was Giles about to lose his head by one of the First’s Bringers. There was no body though. Still very suspicious, they drive out to the retreat the girls are on with Giles, afraid since no one can remember him touching anything or anyone. Once they arrive, they all tackle him where he sits by a fire. That obviously means he’s corporeal, so he’s ok then.

This is all happening so fast. I don’t want the end to come! Why did this show have to end so early? Seven years seems like nothing. Fourteen could have worked for me :D

7×14 First Date

This starts at the exact moment 7×08 Sleeper left off. Giles is in the graveyard with all the girls, telling everyone the story of how he escaped the axe-thing at the head from the Bringer in England. The gist — he survived. Got it. In the middle of the story, Spike comes from out of nowhere and tackles Giles. He was still thinking he could be the First. Then Giles realizes that Spike’s chip didn’t go off. Buffy explains that she had a choice about his chip and she chose to have it removed. Giles is REALLY not happy about that. Giles reprimands Buffy about it, and the fact that he thinks she is letting her feelings for Spike get in the way of the decisions she should be making where he is concerned.

The next day, Xander is in a hardware store watching a demonstration of some kind. That just seems weird that Xander would be off living a normal life while the end of the world is coming. But I guess it’s not like this is his first apocalypse. One gets jaded after the first couple, I suppose. While there, he sees a very beautiful young lady looking baffled at a display of rope. So, that is obviously a good moment to make your move. Her name is Lissa, and she’s being played by Ashanti. He asks her if she needs help and they get to talking. They end up with plans for a wee coffee date later. Let us remember something here. If something seems entirely too good to be true in Buffyverse. IT IS.  Yah, she turns out to be evil, strings Xander up over that weird seal in the high school basement and tries to get his blood all over the seal to free some more of those Ubervamps.

Buffy: There he is, on the Hellmouth, all day every day. That’s gotta be like being showered with evil. Only from underneath.
Willow: Not really a shower.
Buffy: A bidet. Like a bidet of evil.

Buffy is busy getting a date invitation herself. Principal Wood asks her out, and she accepts. She doesn’t know if it’s an evil date, a work date, or a sexy date. So she tries to plan to accomodate all three. Total weird side note… I really love the outfit she wears on her date. It’s jeans, this weird lacy black sort of skirt or long jacket with a white shirt and a leather jacket. Hard to really explain properly. It’s just really cute. Thought I’d share. On their way to the restaurant, that is quite handily located in the back of a creepy dark alley, they get attacked by five vampires. Buffy goes into Slayer mode, and oddly enough, so does Wood. He has a stake and everything too. They continue on their date, talk all about the fact that Wood is the son of a former Slayer and Buffy seems pretty super pumped to share her stuff with someone kinda normal. I’m sure it helps that D.B. Woodside is quite a beautiful man. He’s got great eyes. You might know him from 24. He played David Palmer’s brother, who then turned into the president too I think.

Andrew sees Jonathan, but duh, of course it’s the First. The First wants him to kill all the Potentials. Turns out maybe he’s not evil after all. He acts like he’s in on it, all the while he’s just stringing the First along. Willow has Andrew wired and they are trying to find out more information through what the First tells Andrew. The First finally catches on and gets super pissy.

Wow… long one here. Sorry about that. Eventually everyone finds out that Xander is in trouble. They all go to save him. In the end, the First shows itself to Wood again. He also informs Wood that Spike is the responsible vampire for his mother’s death. Yow.

7×15 Get It Done

Buffy dreams of the First Slayer and she tells Buffy “It’s not enough”.  The house full of women is getting to be a bit much, so Anya and Spike go off to get drunk at a bar. They get attacked by a demon that says it was sent by D’Hoffryn to kill Anya I guess.

Principal Wood gives Buffy a bag of items that used to belong to his mother, the Slayer Nikki Wood. The bag contains various items including weapons, a book, and a strange sealed box. She gives Principal Wood a tour of the house. They then go into the backyard where all the Potentials are training, or doing a very bad imitation of a tai chi bootcamp. Lastly, they visit Spike’s basement, and Wood is very obvious with his dislike of Spike.

One of the Potentials, Chloe, seems to be having a very hard time coping with being a Potential and the fact that the world is probably going to be ending soon. So, the First is able to convince her to hang herself. Dawn and Buffy are the ones to find her. The First, in the form of Chloe, gives all the girls another warning… “I’m coming, you’re going”.  Buffy buries Chloe. Question here is does Chloe not have any parents that would want to know about her death and want to bury her themselves? Just an observation. Anyway, Chloe’s death actually makes Buffy very mad. She says Chloe was weak, and they can’t afford to have weak people among them. She even goes off on Xander and Spike. With Spike, she tells him she wants the old Spike back. He used to be a better fighter, but now he’s just being a wuss. She’s very harsh, our commanding Watcher-esque Buffy.

Buffy: What I want is the Spike that’s dangerous. The Spike that tried to kill me when we met.
Spike: Oh, you don’t know how close you are to bringing him out.
Buffy: I’m nowhere near him.

Opening the box leads to enchanted shadow puppets that open some sort of portal. This has to be the worst looking portal ever. It looks like a big box of tv static that glows a bit more than normal. It just looked so half-ass. I guess in the scheme of things, that’s not so important though. So, she goes through tacky cheesy portal and arrives in a desert area.  She runs into a few tribe men, called Shadowmen. Oh, there had to be a trade for the whole portal entrance, so a big ugly demon came through on the earth side. It attacks Spike so hard it throws him up against the ceiling so hard he goes through it to land on the second floor of the house. Neat. The demon gets away, but they know they have to have it to return in order to get Buffy back. If they can get Buffy back.

Spike is busy digging around his old digs at the high school basement. Seems he finds what he’s looking for… his old leather jacket. Guess his power is in his “cape”. He goes and retrieves the demon, brings it back to the house. Wood notices Spike’s new attire and looks mega-pissed.

The Shadowmen are the men that created the original Slayer, and have chained Buffy to the Earth to get her more power. Seems like there is a steep price for that though. There won’t be much human left in her afterwards. This price proves to be too steep for Buffy, and she refuses and kicks all the Shadowmen’s asses.

Over on the other side, Willow is busy trying to get her spell on. Doing her spell, she ends up sucking energy from Kennedy cuz she’s the strongest and closest person around. This completely freaks Kennedy out. Willow opens the portal, gets Buffy back. Before she left the desert alt-verse, the eldest tribe men touches her face. He gave her a glance at what she has to face… we see 100s of those Ubervamp Turok-Han under that seal in the high school just itchin’ to get out.